baby... i love u.. no matter wad... u haf to face these ordeals.. how tough... if u gonna back out... u are throwing in the towel and saying ur guilty... which is not! y let the moron carry on with her ugly deeds and hence let the rest suffer in the future..? din u once told me that if u were put down... u would fight for ur right and prove them wrong? where the old u? if its for my sake, i'd rather u dun quit... juz because by quittin u can solve the whole thing.... face it... NO. if they are gonna ask u further.... shut em up... i'm ur gf... not theirs.... they wanna noe bout me... come talk to me.. bb... hope ur ok... we'll face it together yea....?
2:20 PM;
I made my mark
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
ok... its a mess. i call it a mess.. i shall begin this with a title..... OVERWRITING THE ABOVE After 2 months rejoining back G.Cafe team, i was transferred to an outlet which i onced was familiar with. i NEVER liked training ppl of higher post. Reluctantly, i did what i had to. It when smoothly... thru the trainings, E learned new things... so did i.. there were bound to b ups and downs between us... sometimes i do hate E.. sometimes i do miss working with E.. cuz we rarely get to work together. E comes i leave or vice versa. Recently, i heard from someone from another district telling me there's rumours going around that i'm overwriting E. (Oh ya..E is the store-in-charge of the outlet i'm in. i'm assisting her while training her.) Naturally, i'm unhappy.. in fact i'm VERY UNHAPPY with the fact that the words that gets to my ears are from another district's mouth. i have a boyfriend. he is from another district... which is that district which i heard from. when u're in a relationship... and wen ur down.. the other can sense the unhappiness aura surrounding u.. the obvious thing he would do is ask y... i said nth.. i din wanna tell him at all... i din wanna tell anyone... all i had in mind was to tender.. i was sick of all these... this isnt the first.. perhaps, i'm not fated to be in this company.. everywhere i go... there's surely an issue.. all i cared about was running away to stop further entanglement.. back to him... oh ya... and then... he kept pursuing... den wen i finally pour out... without mentioning names... tho he guessed it... i felt better.. but it goes on... his suggestions.. his feelings... i felt horrible actually.. but din mention it.. den i said i'll have it settle by myself cuz i dowan to sour relationships among others... i never look upon anyone as enemy.. or rival.. or someone i hate... till now... even if i noe hu's spreading it... i wouldnt hate the person... after all... we're in the same company.. i juz wanna noe why she did it... what did i do to make her hate me? i habour no intention in overwriting my SIC... frankly speaking... i dun even like managing a store... what more overwriting the SIC... i'm not after any post... fark it... so bloody long winded... the thing now is tat... i'm very angry with the fact tat its getting out of hand.... everyone can guess hu told me... T ask Z if she was the one... Z confronted me... say i paotoh her... HALO! i din mention names alrite... and i believe F wun jump to conclusion and pint point anyhow... so i called F. F said BF told T. omg. my heart cracked. and before F called me back.. i msg BF. saying "how did this matter get so huge? (i'm just complaining not saying u) y am i alwayss in a mess wif ur district and mine? F go tell T wad happened... and i din say its Z. i wun say names..but she guessed it... cuz.......blax3... y b? y?y?? now Z thinks i pao her... my intention was to clear my name... now it got entangled more..." ya... tat was my msg to him before i talk to F. den F called me... while i was on the phone with F...BF msg came in but i waited till i hung up den read... but previous msg was send before F called... F saif BF told T... omg....... really omg..... i tell u..... wtf....... den wen i read his reply... it was "whatever happen i din noe.. wadever the higher management did i dont noe. i dowan to interfere in any of dis cuz it will mess things up. Z came down to take test and JT talk to her... i dunno wad happened.. if things leak out i dunno where it came from... arghhh" fuck.... he lied to me... i feel like taking a plate and smash it in his face right now... what a BIG FAT LIAR!!! i dislike u man.... i realli do.... u breached my trust FIRST... and u tried to lie!!!!! URGH!!!!!!!!! i'm so disgusted by u.... Z is my fren... if Z were to hate me for this... i'll hate u too.... cuz u gaf me the firestarters... good luck boy... uRgh!!!! damn U!!!! nth hurts more than a prick from a needle held by ur loved ones! u breached my trust. u lied to me. u breached my trust. u lied to me. u breached my trust. u lied to me. u breached my trust. u lied to me. i hate u.
11:51 PM;
I made my mark
Friday, July 04, 2008
blogging is always the last resort for my unhappiness... i dun find sharing sorrows any help.. i'm tired... of everything... of werking... or communicating... of being awake... i just wanna slip into coma for months... let my body rest... y am i slaving for a company and doing the extra werk wen i'm only wad i am? why am i doing someone's else job wen i noe my responsibility is oni this much? i'm not being paid that high to do sucha thing.... the reason could be lying deep in my heart... i noe y i'm doing all these... its just tat wen a problem comes.... i noe wat i shud do to resolve it... so immediate reaction would be wad it is.. but aft some time.... i realise... wadever for?
sometimes i wonder wad am i working for? for myself? or for others?
3:42 AM;
I made my mark
LOST IDENTITY
-=|Solistice|=-
I stand in between both solstice; slashed, tortured, LOST.
