Untitled. Lost. ;Without hope`

Monday, September 29, 2008

i'm going farking crAZy!!!!!!! y the silence??????? haven't u gaf me enough silence that 3 months wen u went MIA???? y do u haf to ask me to call u wen i did, and u dun answer????? wads the point???? i see no point!!!!!!!!! i oni visualize rubbish! RUBBISH!!!! RUBBISH i TELL YOU!!! wad da hell r u doin????? fOOLing around??? dare not answer my call with ur scandal by ur side?? ARGH!!!! damn u.... i HATE this!!!!!!!!!!!!! FARK sHIT!! FOOL AROUND FOR ALL I CARE! LEAVE!! GET OUTTA MY LIFE... CUZ MY LIFE IS FARKING DAMAGED!!! DUN CALL, SEE OR EMAIL ME ANYMORE! I DOWAN TO HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT U!!!!!!!!! I'M FARKING DAMAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:43 AM;
I made my ~~mark~~

Sunday, September 28, 2008

pop tt boOty~

to a point when u've reach the intensity of ur climax, u feel like u've carried too much burden with u... to a point where u've lost ur hope and strength to continue moving on. to0 tired of everything, and tired of being hurt. why do i haf to be the one carrying and shoudering the pain thru out these journey? i cant depict a happy future with u... i feel no love.. just plain boring life... engagement? hah... wishful thinking on my mum's part. she doesnt noe the pain i'm going thru... the pain of not being loved yet caged.

-hAtred-

2:21 AM;
I made my ~~mark~~

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

a picture that potrays my dream

its funny how these feelings come and go. i'm in the state of hurt. i caused my own wound. i dig our things which were the past and have my eyes burnt. my heart screams yet no one hears. i cry but no one sees. its the past.... the present is wad matters most and future is wad we're carving now. i can forgive but i'll never forget. cuz its a scar that holds 'great' memories dat does nth but self destruct. cb.... go slp laa....

3:36 AM;
I made my ~~mark~~

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Fuck you. Tt's the oni word i wish to say ryt now. u can treat me as ur girl... but i treat u as my fren. i talk to u like how i talk to my frenz. expect nth special treatment from me until u satisfy my criterias to b my bf. ass. the word tt i hail u. irritating. the word tt describes u. totally. the word that shows how much i cant b bothered with u. avoid. the step tt i always fail. cuz u haunt me like a ghost. Argh. irritating ass.

1:48 AM;
I made my ~~mark~~

Monday, September 01, 2008

aft work.. i stayed on at FEP to do my month end stock count. i was on my way back, and he msged me. it sent down a chill down my spine. His parents met with an accident on d bike. he was scared. i was scared too. i detour my way down to TTSH. i noe how he felt. if it happened to my parents, i would feel very scared too. my intention was to be there for him as a fren. he needs someone to accompany him and assurance that everything was gonna b ok... i'm glad that both his mum and dad didn't suffer heavy injuries. and tts it. as a fren, i'm concern too. for him, and for his parents. but i dowan anythin more than tt. i'm still recuperating from this fall. and i have yet to be straight up on my feet.

you noe, i'm a direction idiot. everyone noes tt. put me in ang mo kio ave 1. and ask me find ang mo kio ave 2, i'll be lost. and fear builds up. i reached TTSH. he said lvl 2. i wen up, it was so quiet and wasnt realli open for public access. so i asked him again. i was getting scared. he said its near 7-11. i wen there and msged him to meet me ther... all he said was, can u find ur own way? aiyo.... i realli felt like crying. not cuz of his harshness... but cuz i was scared!!! i dun like to be on unfamiliar ground alone. and his msg was harsh leh! cb..... okok... fasting month here... i shan't b so vulgar. but my intention was to acc him. so i shant make so much noise.

now, he wants me to accompany him to c the person hu knock down his dad. i dun realli want to. its over. i dun wan him to carry on thinking tt we're together. i dun mind being there for him, but oni as a fren. moreover, i'm still wounded. mayb this is the last i will help. and hope he will realize i'm helping him as a fren. nth more. patting my head, lying down on my shoulder, i feel so awkward just now. i dunno wad to do. tell mi... wad am i supposed to do? haiz............................ i cant carry on like this. i dowan to be deceiving him neither do i wanna get hurt. wad shud i do? i fell so lost. basically, today, my whole self was just lost. i'm totally a lost soul ryt now. houvering around finding a way out. soon, i'll lost my memory. as it is, i'm beginning to forget things easily. but the things tt happened yrs back is still vivid in my head. recent events had been erased gradually. i got an eraser in my head. oh man.

2:45 AM;
I made my ~~mark~~