u broke my heart.. u hurt my soul... i'm so disappointed... u made my tears roll.. i felt guilty.. for wad i've done.. but still.. u hurt me time and time again... am i so unimportant to u dat i'm a nobody in ur eyes.. u used to dote on me... but not now... i'm juz a nobody... i dun create any impact in ur life anymore... i walked out ignoring u... my heart bleeds for u... u've created countless scars on me... ur happy... u love me... ur mad.. u hate me.. i'm not somebody who is visible in ur eyes all the time... wad more can i ask for? i jux ask for love... love me like how u love the rest... stop comparing.. i may not be as smart as nora... i may not have a stable job cuz i'm still skoolin.. have u ever tot of how i feel everyday? skool..work..skool..work... tats all i do.. nora is simply the brainy one who is the studious and intellectual one.. irna is the one hu gives u money every month... both gives products tat satisfy u.. but have u tot of how i am everyday? how tired i am everyday? my back breaking... my health sux... no... u dun care.... u dun care bout me... u dun divide ur love for ur children equally... u raised ur voice at me for no reason! do u care bout how i feel? i keep deceiving myself thinkin u love us all equally... well.. no u dun... u hardly have proper conversation like how any mother would have with their children... askin.. how's ur day... r u tired? wan me to heat up the food for u? no.. u nvr did... i'm too hurt..... i cried in public... in bus & aft werk...

i came back from skool to take my werking stuffs... first thing u said to me is " clean ur room b4 u leave..." i dun mind doing it if i'm not werking.. i'm already very tired and in a rush.. den i jux say tomorrow i'll do it.. i'm in a rush for werk.. u cant be bothered... aft i ask if i could use the toilet in e kitchen... cuz their doin some cleaning there... and juz b cuz i ask a simple question.. u raised ur voice at me... wad was tt for? so i said " u dun have to raise ur voice... u can juz say it nicely u noe..." den i walked away.. took all my stuff... plug in my mp3... while wearin my socks.. i know she was sayin sth to me.. repeating twice.. i pretended not to hear and juz walk out... i cant stand her being nice out of a sudden! den i start to think and think of wad she did to me in d past... i'm realli disappointed with her... u can joke and laugh with my other siblings.. but not with me.. tat's y i rather be at gelare where my second family and second home is.. there is where i feel homey and loved... everyone cares... we take care of one another.. ave is tryin her best to be there fer everyone... ana is there as a listening ear.. so is jon and ciindy and xuan... wads so wrong bout me?? why do u not treat me like any other children of urs? i'm sooo soooo sad.... i tried my best to put up a positive attitude during work... smile like nth happpened...but aft werk... i think bout it again... i cried for being rude to u... i cried cux i'm upset with the way u treat me.. i cried thinkin bout the past... my tears wouldnt stop flowing... i wish my blood would flow at same rate... at least it ease my emotional pain... i wan to stop cryin... i feel so useless.... mummy.... u dun love me anymore do u? u dun care fer me anymore do u? wad if one day i'm gone? would u cry for me? would u miss me? would u rmb how u treat me in the past? would u haf tot of treating me better? but then again... wouldnt tt be too late? OR would u juz cry once for me? forget me the next day? cuz i no longer exist in ur life.. would u feel ease in burden wise? i wanna noe how u feel!! *tsk tsk* ='(