Monday, November 19, 2007
wads the true meaning of love? it feels guud to be loved by the ones u love.. but it hurt most wen u're left stranded on the shelf by the ones whom u realli love. Love plays a major role in our lifes. It feeds us with 2 extreme feelings. u seek sanctuary by ur love ones' side... they r the ones hu make u feel at ease wen u're troubled. but wen the table turns around, they are the one hu pierce ur heart and wound u deep.. that's love. to get over it is equivalent to finding a pin in haystack... Love Hurts... how many times have u heard Love Rox? and how many times have u hear Love Sux/Hurts? most of the time Love hurts. But why r we choosing the path wen we noe what's waiting at the end of the road? the joy of having someone to walk with u thru that journey is tempting yet disappointing cuz they soon get tired and couldnt trust u that we will bring u to haven. during those few junctions of ur journey, the fear builts up cuz at every point, ur afraid he/she might choose to go the other way... and wen the fear arise, the other will think that there's no faith nor trust. Faith and Trust. we built one and the other crush it. hell... wad the fark am i talking?!
2:53 AM;
I made my mark
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Raindrops, Fall From, Everywhere
I Reach Out, For You, But Your Not There
So I Stood, Waiting, In The Dark
With Your Picture, In My Hands
Story Of a Broken Heart
Stay With Me
Don't Let Me Go
Cause I Can't Be Without You
Just Stay With Me
And Hold Me Close
Because I've Built My World Around You
And I Don't Wanna Know What's It Like Without You
So Stay with Me
Just Stay With Me
I'm Trying And Hoping, For The Day
When my touch is enough
To Take The Pain Away
Cause I've Searched For So Long
The Answer Is Clear
We'll be OK if We Don't Let It Disappear
the song expresses what i'm feeling now.. i feel damn shitty.... down the drain shittiness... i visualized myself running to gelare whenever i'm feeling shitty... but now... nvr... even if i run to gelare...hu can i turn to? my shittiness becomes more shitty... what am i suppose to do now? i'm feeling so..... urGh! ='( JINX JINX JINX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bOo~=(
5:01 PM;
I made my mark
Friday, November 09, 2007
Each day seems like any other day to me.. i hog on the fone wit frenz, wasting my time on the net, goin out without a destination or motive.. having a bf(dunno if he regard me as his gf) is like not having one.. it feels as though i'm gradually drifting apart from my treasures.. I'm jobless and skooless... wad da fark! argh! sometimes i do wish i could go back to gelare.. at least i could work and not think of other things.. he.... haiya... think bout it makes me feel......dunno angry or wad... wad do i haf to do to make myself feel ok??? sometimes i wonder if in the first plc i'm ur gf... ppl ask if i'm attached... i said i am.. dunno if tts the correct ans.. arGh! i wonder if ppl ask him tt qn... wad his ans would be... i'm tryin to occupy myself wit all the things i could do to not think of u... cuz it hurts everytime i think of my plight.. do u realli love me? or r u juz recuperating from ur previous fall? i noe i'm not suppose to think tt way.. cuz i alrdy noe wad kind of situation ur in b4 i got close to u.. but i din noe it would affect me tis much.. perhaps i realli shuden fall too deep... i love u as it is.. i wait till u pick urself up fully den i'll learn to love u more..i masked my expressions well.. i blanket my fear with the joyful tots.. i ignore nonsensical comments.. make me happy... i can be soft hearted... easily deceived by words.. taken in by lies.. bless me with decent joy.. i'll be thankful for tt.. prick me with ur nonsense.. i'll stab u with my silence.. dun try to open the pandora's box... it'll be horrible.. ArgH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3:09 AM;
I made my mark
Saturday, November 03, 2007
pls come and take tis pain away will u? as long as i'm jobless, my mind will nvr be at ease... gosh.. it's affectin the ppl arnd me wen i'm in this state.. i feel so cheated being in my ex werkplc.. the feeling is unexplainable.. oh gosh.. i need a new job soon.... get rid of all the stupid tots thats lingering in my head.. bloody hell..
i need to occupy myself with things to keep my mind at ease.. i also need to keep myself bz so i wont yearn for him... he's now a full timer.. i'm onli his part time gf.. on top of tt, he has to juggle his skool and its assignments.. tts tedious for him.. i juz pray he would be able to handle the stress that befalls upon him.. i dun ask for much.. juz rmb tt i'm here for him alwaes.. =)
be happy, stay happy, be happy, stay happy, be happy, stay happy........... i know i can do it..
i'm still considerng if i shud join starbux.. the interview is like in a few days time.. but i dunno wad to do..my mum doesnt wan me in fnb line.. she's afraid same thing hpns again.. she would prefer if i do office werk.. i would want to... but out of 14 applications sent out..oni 2 contacted me.. and.. both i cant do it.. c'mon...event coordinator?? gosh.. i cant even coordinate my life... and its oni a temp job.. if i got a perm offer halfway thru... den i'll regret my choice.. i wondering if i could juggle 2 jobs.. full time in office tt is 8.30-5, and nite at starbux... but my mummy laa... haiya!!!!! *groan* mayb i shud go relax... i wanna go to pulau ubin.... but ana not arnd anymmore.... hu wans to go wit me... my frenz are all skoolin.. i feel so pathetic... argh!!!!!
3:18 AM;
I made my mark
