Saturday, January 26, 2008
why do all good things come to an end? its not for us to judge nor decide.. like i said earlier.. i'm tired of catching up with his steps... today.. i had a choice to choose between far east or plaza sing gelare.. initially.. i chose fep.. den i change to ps.. i had no intention of seeing him at all.. Fatt juz wanted to go gelare.. fep is not convenient wen going hm.. besides... i'm minimising my conver. with him.. i did sth wrong today... which i feel so guilty even till now... wen we wanted to go off.. he asked..."not waitin for me? haha" he cud had meant in a joking way or really meant it.. my immediate ans was " hah! go and die.." i feel hurt if i were him... i'm sry.... but it juz came out... "wait"... y am i alwayss waiting for u? i waited 2 hours standing at same spot the day wen u wen silent and i said i wanted to meet u aft ur werk at sg.. we talked for 15 mins.. and i watch u walked away...... i waited outside ps several times to give u a surprise aft ur werk last time... but to no avail...... i waited for ur replies for days and weeks...but to receive no response... this isn't love... this is foolishness.. hah.... i was a mere rebound to u... but i gotta thank you.... all these are experiences which will makes me a stronger person huu will not succumb to such treatments anymore... fArk all shitty guys hu r out there to toy gurl's feelings.. face it wen u haf probs... not run away and go missing... and say sry aft tt.... y say sry wen u noe its wrong? i'm farkin hurt everyday wit tots of u linger in my head which refused to get out! i blanket my feelings very well in public.... at home i'm all liquidified... i dunno from wher i muster e courage to still see u even wen my goal is to rid u.. aft seein u... i'll go.." fArk! y did i even bother?!" n it adds on to my miseries.. monday.... my last time going over to him..... to pass him cig... aft tt.... he wans.... he come to mi.... i bet he got no guts to even come to mi... i'm hurt too deep........ i'm too hurt to carry on...
11:43 PM;
I made my mark
Saturday, January 19, 2008
rub rub rub...itchy eye.. hehIts funny how human fall in love.. they're either confused by their own actions or they're expecting sth to turn out THEIR way which eventually NOT.. I voicing from a gurl's perspective.. No matter how sweet we go the extra mile for him, it is never felt.. I had someone i love sooooo much... despite wad i had gone thru... my feelings nvr change.. YET.. i dun have the strength to shoulder a relationship anymore.. it seems like i've surrender to fate if it prevails.. i dunno wad he is thinkin.. i'm confused... a part of me says i wouldnt go back to him if he asked.. a part of me says i'm not gonna let go again.. (well... it wasnt me hu let go in the first plc) BUT all these succumb to... him.... in the first plc.. does he treat me as a fren oni? if he is... perhaps its good.. no sadness.. no high bills... no quarrels... but.. no love.. recently, i've been stealing chances again to see him.. but today.. i realized... y am i always the one to be catchin up with his steps... ? i'm getting tired... i'm tired of catering to him.. wen is it my turn when i can actually feel touched by him? y am i the one goin to him and not he coming to me... ? i need to put a stop to all this.. i need to prove myself that i can live without him... i'm tryin not to send msges nor call him or meet him.. i'll end up more hurt.. i'm still recuperating from the fall i had.. but no matter how deep the wound is.. i still love him alot.. my heart has no room for others.. he stole the key.. the day he return me the key would be the day he found a new love.. (damn it) haha.. Anyway.. UPDATES! I've been in Nippon Express Pte Ltd for 1++ month? Dealing with logistics.. cargoes.... Major in tran-shipments.. i'm doing guud... work 6 days a week... sunday official off day.. 9-5.3opm..(by right) by left... on average.. 9-8pm... it depends on how heavy the work load is.. documentations are to be completed before we leave... latest was 12midnite.. i feel like bringing a tent and juz set it in my office.. urgh! working world realli haf no life.. wake up early... aft werk go home slp... if finish at 5.30.. reach home watch tv den slp.. thats my life.. boring... but lucky me.. its simple... juz imagine me in a rlnship... i pity the guy.. cuz i'll be too tired to go out.. and i'll knock out around 11plus to 12.. haha.. its 2317 alrdy... i think i'm gonna knock out alrdy.. very tired...guud nite everyone! i miss all my SP frenz, BDS frenz and gelare ex-colleagues... love u guys to bits & pieces!!! muAckxX!10:18 PM;
I made my mark
rub rub rub...itchy eye.. heh