da fArk! lol... i dunno y... i got loads of stuff weighing in my mind... dunno which to let go... i talked to imran, jaz, aba and shihui abt him... the whole topic is abt breaking up.. i'm tired... its short but exhausting... i'm too tired of listening to his nag and scolding.. i;m too tired to tolerate his nonsense... i'm tired of telling myself to hang on and tat 2 yrs will pass fast... he's not here physically and ppl always say absence makes the heart grow fonder... no... he's not physically here but he scold me like as if i see him everyday and he noe me too well... i was hurt tat time he said he dun bother if im sick.. cuz he said wen i was asked to rest i din... ask to eat.. i din... F... up laa... i tried to slp earl.. i lie down at 12.. i slpt at 5... i cant possibly eat if i'm so bloated... and i work because i'm in need to cash... he SHOULD KNOW THAT! he werk b4.. and now... i'm already werking 2 jobs.. pool spot and gelare... i'm keeping my mind accupied and not think of anythin... i'm tired laa... i wanna tell him this: i think we shall juz see wad the future holds for us... no point being together juz for the sake of record... its a torture for me and euu... if u dun find it a torture.... i do... wen i realli in need of someone by my side to listen and be there for me wen i'm down.... its my second family, gelare ppl hu is always there... and most of my problems i dun feel comfortabletelling him... cuz i'm too scared of his reaction... he wun agree wit me for EVERYTHIN... he will side wad i'm angry or sad wit... tat makes me sadder... at first i realli realli tot u are e one tt i'm lookin for... i finally let go of my ex bcuz u came and lit up my life.. but somehow the fire is dying.... i'm tired of trying to keep the oxygen sufficient for the fire to go on.. i'm being controlled for no good reason... den... i'm not being bothered if i dun listen... fark laa.. sick sick sick... now i'm so bloody stress by skool, cca, gelare, pool, family and him... so... i think i dun like the feeling of being controlled wen i'm sooo stressed... it stressed me further... so i think... i wan to let go of this relationship.. i got no more oxygen to supply... we juz see wat the future holds for us.. for now.. i wanna be free... i juz wanna werk and study... and i dowan u to say i got no time fer u wen u book out... so.. ya.. let us be free...
11:41 AM;
I made my mark
LOST IDENTITY
-=|Solistice|=-
I stand in between both solstice; slashed, tortured, LOST.
