True love doesn't come by finding the perfect person... but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
but how true is true love? sacrifices cannot be measured yet it has been taken advantage of. how can we weigh the amount of love? its time to learn to let go of certain habits which tears the relationship apart. One experiences honeymoon period at the beginning and wish it could last. but mine was long over. could it be i was giving in too much that he expects more? could it be i cared too much for him and he wants more? i feel unloved and abundant at times. i felt like i was an object that was programmed to cater to his feelings. my feelings are dying. i no longer had that strong feelings for him that could conquer everything else. the one that cares and shows concern are my friends. the one that puts me off... its him... it hurts wen u expect more from ur love ones yet returned with nothing. the one that offers advise that i would find reasonable to shut up came from friends. i feel like an idiot everytime he shuts me off. he doesnt look at the credits i've done but he remembers mistakes i committed. could i just be single once again? i'll feel less hurt and i wun expect anything more from him than just wad frenz would do.
wen i said to him tt i wanna be left alone... i was hoping for some initiative from him to show his concern. all i get was "i wun disturb u. msg me or call wen u wan." utterly depressed and the urge of wanting to let him go was certainly there. i want a guy hu loves me with all his heart and my feelings matters to him. a guy hu would overlook my mistakes and treat me not like a kid. i mayb younger. but i'm not 9 years old. i have a thinking of my own. the fragility of my feelings requires attention. it breaks at slightest screech. my heart feels sore these days.
i went for my bike prac today. i was sad aft tt due to wadever that happened... i fell off. i couldnt start. i was drenched. then, i wen to werk... my new nametag was farking ugly. i lost my rubberband to tie my hair. everythin doesnt seems rite for me. the one tt i pour my woes to are my frenz. wen i told him i fall off my bike cuz of illegal U-turn, his reply was i tot prac 6 den learn U-turn? den it cut off... he wasnt concern of wad had happened to me... but was just lookin down on me. i hadnt talk to him for 3 days. and today aft waffle day... i still wen down to find him... all i get was " eh.. finally..now then come and see me" am i the guy in this relationship? do i haf to look for him ? care for his feelings and neglect mine? i hardly get positive comments from his mouth. oni common things like i love u. i need a guy hu think before he speaks. dun make me sound stupid or make me feel like an idiot. i'll lose the feelings even faster.
am i asking for too much? i noe i am being sensitive... cuz i am sensitive. i'm a girl. if u dun noe how to take care of a girl's feeling..... dun get into a relationship. and wen i dun give a damn last time... u said u dun feel concern by me... u dun feel loved. wad do u want???? i dunno wad else i shud do.... the best is for us to take a time-out. my birthday is approaching soon and all i wish was to celebrate with my love one... i never celebrated with my ex before. either we got together aft my birthday or we break up before my burfdae. i was looking forward for this yr... but these had to happen. its realli not meant to b. could i feel worst den ever? i have to juggle so many things yet i manage to love u still. my werk, my skool, my bike, my grandfather and family, frenz, and u.. yes.. u mayb under pressure at ur side wen comes to werk... i have mine too.. u haf some family stuffs. me too... wad else? thats it ryt? y couldnt u juggle me as well... is the pressure i'm giving u too high? i doubt so. if u think its high, lets break up. me too.... i'm getting tired of EVERYTHING..... i just wanna let go of everything i have. including my job. even my studies. even my bike. but of cuz not family. solitude is wad i seek ryt now.
