I'm slowly learning to let go. It's not an easy ordeal i must say. No matter how long we may had been together, its not as simple as it may seemed. 1 year, 2 years, 5 years... so what if we've been together for so long? do we really understand each other? or are we out to hurt each other's feelings? i admit that most of the time i tried cuz i wan him to feel wad it feels like being hurt. My mum wans us to go thru engagement by march 09. BANG! it shoot my right thru my head. either do or die. I thought thru for quite some time before i decided that the best way for me, my mum and him..... is that we go our separate ways. For days i didn't want to talk to my mum. Pushing me to get tied with someone whom i KNOW cannot support me in the future, really turns me off. I needed time to see thru him. i need to see if he could prove me wrong. if he could see if he could support me in the future. I know that so far.. he couldn't. His dreams are too big. I'll only be an obstacle in his way to achieve them. And furthermore... i'm way too young. how will my friends look at me? they noe i always had bad times with him and most of them disagree me getting back together with him. i wouldn't wanna go running to them again crying... cuz its too huge a decision for me right now.. anyway.... i've decided... its over.... usually.. after work or during my off days... i'll look forward to meeting him... right now... i'm learning of ways to get myself home immediately after work.... i'd asked my mum to cook sth which will tempt me to go home straight to eat.. hehe.. it worked!! well... i must learn to not lean on someone all the time... cuz once the wall is not there... u'll fall terribly.. i leaned on him too much that i fall umpteen times... its time i stand on my own feet.. besides.... i got no intention of getting in a relationship for the moment... probably till i get my career carved out... have a stable income... find a nice guy... with stable income... hu treats me properly.. till then... i'll be busy attaining wad i must.. and one last thing... Marriage/Engagement shall not come till i'm above 23... And sufian... i'm really sorry.... its not all About u... consider my feelings too next time... (oh well....there wun be a next time i guess....)
1:12 AM;
I made my mark
LOST IDENTITY
-=|Solistice|=-
I stand in between both solstice; slashed, tortured, LOST.
