Wednesday, February 25, 2009
look at my tagboard.. impressive eh? within less than half a day.. its flooded.. oh.. that's my uncle.. expressing himself.. a democratic country.. open comments.. seriously.. i got no more comments.. still stunned by the fact that 'jos' is my uncle. mayb its gonna take me awhile to digest it.. and then, digest his comments.. He's gonna summon me... he's gonna find out more about me from my teachers.. yea.. it haven't struck me wat will happen next.. as in my life.. but i can vaguely see wad is coming.. mayb a slap from mum.. thrown out of the house.. hmm.. i dunno.. we dun realli noe hu we are till ppl show us a mirror. mayb he tried to show me sth thru the starting comments back in dec or jan.. but all i can say is his method was wrong. but again.. hu am i to tell him wads right and wrong... (anyway.. i got a dressing-down from him thru the phone..) if he had mentioned earlier hu he was.. i would haf take into consideration his comments.. cuz aft all.. he knew me tt long.. A real relatives hu cares.. wouldnt resort to such methods.. then again.. hu am i to tell him wad to do... then again.. it diverts back to parents.. like i said.. i love both my parents. All my previous entries that had u assumed things.. how old were they? 3 years back? thru time things change.. ppl change.. i love and respect my mum.. i noe tt.. and she noes it too.. and thru time.. it unveal ppl too... time.. is sth we cannot outrun nor turn back.. time shows wad the future holds for u.. time can also be nasty wen u say sth and can nvr take it back.. its just a matter of time.. till sth happens to me.. its just a matter of time till sth happen to everyone. changes are bound to be there at every sec.. mayb in 10 mins... ur hair grow by a certain millimeters.. maybe in 1 min.. u feel like ur bowels are coming out.. mayb in 30 sec.. u realise its a fact.. it a lie.. its a story.. its a dream.. we may not noe wad retribution God has for all of us hu sins. But sinners should had it coming. I'm just one of them.
2:22 PM;
I made my mark
i hate this... i hate bullshit talks... i had received the final warning from singtel.. now a lawyer letter.. 3 months ago till now u said u will pay ur bill... until now??? if u cant pay... its ok.... just SAY it.. dun keep dragging the payment... its under my name for goodness sake! if cant pay... i'll pay it!! dammit! y do problems always come in a flush?! f**k it!!
3:24 AM;
I made my mark
my mind's in a whirl.. it really IS him.. i already guessed it at first.. but i dare not assume too much without evidence. 'Jos' is really that person whom i already tot at first.. To think it is actualli true.. i was praying hard it wasn't him.. i'm totally disappointed.. to think i actually look upon u as my favourite. i was wrong. totally wrong. ur no different from the typical aunties and uncles. meddlesome. my advice to u is... take care of ur kids FIRST.. no word can express my feelings rite now.. sad.. extremely sad but filled with hatred... i feel so stupid! i hate for the fact that we have blood relation. i hate for the fact that i once look upon u as someone i can turn to. i hate myself for being so stupid. u can say all those hurtful comments knowing that i'm ur niece. really... my words were real. Now i read back all ur comments... u really shud save it for someone nearest to u... all the best, jos...
2:59 AM;
I made my mark
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Only had 4 hours of slp.. went back to my sec. sch with nicole in the morning to visit some teachers who were shocked by our changes. And Mrs Djie even said last time very tomboy.. now all ladies.. haha.. and then we met up with mabel n went for lunch and shopped for ingredients to bake at her house aft tt.. it was cool.. aft 4 months nvr meet up with her.. she's still the same nonsense her.. haha.. 3/4 of the time we just set our eyes on the tv and slumped on her comfy couch..
In relationship, there's 2 things which u would love to have. Love and trust. but if u lost one, the other is destroyed. Once u lost trust, but believe tat u're able to build it up again, it won't be as easy a process to do. Once u stab or been stabbed, the horrid nightmare will carry on recurring and nothing could change that. Feelings could nvr be of the same strength as wad u had previously. anyway.. relationship is just a comfort zone with pins hidden in the corners. u could jump to another stage, but regret a second later. But if u carry on harbouring bitterness, happiness dock elsewhere.
12:16 AM;
I made my mark
Sunday, February 22, 2009
*Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world is like a madhouse.*
*it is difficult to live in the present, ridiculous to live in the future, and impossible to live in the past. Nothing is as far away as one minute ago*
bOO! i'm back again. i cant believe its just another 4 more days in g.cafe and i'm out to another zone. a little nervous.. but i hope i can build bonds with my new colleagues and learn new things thru the ropes provided. Things in life are moving at a calm locomotion. Anyway, i baked quite alot these days.. cakes, chocolates and egg tarts.. first attempt of my egg tart was disastrous. the pastry turns out like cake texture. this is why i dun really like to follow recipe.. 2nd attempt was better.. i din use any recipe, just my own count... and vOala! perfect! i better stop baking or i'll never stop.. my cake was alright.. above are some pictures of it.. Anyway.. i'll be enrolling for my basic theory some time mid of next month.. hopefully can pass before this yr.. and after i pass, me and bb gonna get a car with our join income... and after that i'm gonna invest in my teeth! i wanna put on braces!! 6k!! Dang! haha.. after that, i'm gonna invest in getting a better car.. and so on and forth.. and buy myself a lexus by the age of 35. (if i live till that age) haha! dunno when i'm gonna get tied down.. but not so soon! not until i take off the braces which i'm gonna put on!!! haha! alryt.. update soon!
2:10 AM;
I made my mark
Monday, February 16, 2009
been busy lately.. with work.. down with various illness.. till now have yet to recover.. oH ya.. I got the job in c. club!! i applied as Management trainee.. but he offered me Assistant manager instead.. oo...kk... will be startin werk on 2ndmarch.. and my last day in G.cafe will be on 28th feb.. recently, i've been helping out my old boss in p.spot.. and i've been werking crazy shift.. like morning at g.cafe, night at p.spot till morning and morning at g.cafe... i hadnt slpt yet... one thing... if i wasnt a management in g.cafe.. i wouldnt haf stop working p.spot... the stress is too big.. i still have skool to handle... so my boss D, ask for my schedule today... i said i cant help this week cuz i'm working 6 days at g.cafe.. Den his msg came about, "U gotta werk at least 2 days per wk, u r still an employee under me, i know u have other jobs but not like this. can u pls reschedule?" In the first place... his method of approaching me to ask me to work for him was when i was playing pool... and he said.." can u help me out on chinese new year? no one werking..." my intention was HELP.. and slowly.. he took reliance on me.. since i was werking lss days in g cafe.. i carry on giving.. till now.. wen i was needed much in cafe... he sent me such msg.. does he have any proof to begin with that i was his employee? and his other so-called 'employees' doesn't need to abide to his rule of contributing 2 days... wad do i care? i said.. "i quit then"... besides.. i dun really like that job.. boring and hateful when comes his mood swing... he just bring u down.. and for the fact that u din spoil his mood... its others hu did it but the one nearest to him will feel it.. All of us know wad he's like... attitude problem fella.. oh ya... his reply to me was "Ok fine, if u all wanna behave like little girls. Stress dun come to u, u go to them. dun come anymore." Wah... i GLADLY wun step in there man.... first of all... little girls dun stress.. and if u think that my body can take ur kind of shift after shift... u are crazy... g.cafe is not like ur job... g cafe is freaking tiring and some more ur not just a staff there... ur a management... alot of responsibility.. so sorry if ur thinking is so shallow... its no wonder no one wants to work for u... change ur behaviour bah...
5:36 PM;
I made my mark
